The following is a list of quotes that have stumbled out of my mouth. Many with no forethought….and I doubt any will be appropriate for my gravestone. And, if my gravestone is ever in dispute, be it known now, that I would like it to read, “Mistakes were made.” That way, 100 years from now, someone will get a laugh.
Keep in mind this list is only added to when I remember one. Undoubtedly my friends recall something I’ve said and if it is left in the comments, I’ll be sure to add it. Rarely will I have any that are serious, except #1.
1. The best entrepreneur is the worst of all the experts on the team he establishes.
2. Never lick a steak knife.
3. Never take a laxative and a sleeping pill on the same night.
4. Today, I feel like I have felt all of my life. Riding a donkey and chasing a gorgeous woman on a thoroughbred.
5. If you have never laughed until you sharted, you have yet to live life.
6. My dog has cat-like reflexes…and he’s not a dick about it.
