The following is a list of quotes that have stumbled out of my mouth.  Many with no forethought….and I doubt any will be appropriate for my gravestone.  And, if my gravestone is ever in dispute, be it known now, that I would like it to read, “Mistakes were made.”  That way, 100 years from now, someone will get a laugh.

Keep in mind this list is only added to when I remember one.  Undoubtedly my friends recall something I’ve said and if it is left in the comments, I’ll be sure to add it.  Rarely will I have any that are serious, except #1.

1.  The best entrepreneur is the worst of all the experts on the team he establishes.

2.  Never lick a steak knife.

3. Never take a laxative and a sleeping pill on the same night.

4. Today, I feel like I have felt all of my life. Riding a donkey and chasing a gorgeous woman on a thoroughbred.

5.  If you have never laughed until you sharted, you have yet to live life.

6.  My dog has cat-like reflexes…and he’s not a dick about it.

Don't act like you got nothing to say, so lay it on me!

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