Hurray for Steak and Blow Job day!!


Steak & Blow Job Day

 

I wrote this in 2008 for my myspace blog and am transferring it over here as it was one of the more popular blogs written.

Current mood:sneaky

Steak and Blow Job Day

Humor: moderate
Length: couple minutes

OK, I’m sure you think I’m here to pitch the idea of Steak & Blow Job day. Not so. In case you are not familiar with it, some very intellectual and socially forward individuals decided that since Valentine’s day is for women, that men should have a holiday all to themselves. They want this holiday to happen one month after Valentine’s sort of as a reward for doing a good job during V day. Now, I’m not opposed to this as I already see Valentine’s day as more of an “eat-out” holiday preceded by flowers and candy, sort of a Candy and Eat Out Day (double entendre intended). Not that I necessarily need a specific day to let me know when it’s time to eat at the Y. I tend to like to dine there as often as I am allowed and have never been asked to leave the restaurant. I digress. So, my point is not to promote Steak & BJ Day, but rather, to point out the inequality of it’s lack of existence.

Now, I made a comment on my “mood” setting a few days ago that has brought me quite a bit more flack than I had expected. Apparently, everyone on myspace reads the mood settings. I am now aware of this fact and will adjust my “mood” accordingly. But, for now, I must defend my position. If you don’t know, my mood quote went something like this, “Joe is boycotting Valentine’s day until women everywhere agree to recognize Steak and Blow Job Day. You want to be treated equal, now let’s get equal.” The reasons for my comment are many, but the main one is the inequality of it all.

Those of you who know me well realize that one of my biggest pet peeves is the fact that I, as a white male, am now in the only minority left. All other minorities have eroded our freedoms to the point that we, as a mass have to shut up and take it due to some form of slight we transgressed against another group at some point in our past. For example, affirmative action hiring means that a less capable black man be hired over a more capable white man because the white man’s great great great grandfather made the black man’s great great great grandfather pick cotton. If you need me to explain how ridiculous that is, then you must be a liberal or completely ignorant or both.

Now, women have finally attained equal rights (or from what I gather they are so close that the difference is negligible). I applaud what they have accomplished. I wouldn’t stand for not being treated equally and I am sure that if I had been born without a penis, I would have joined the fight as well. BUT, you can’t have it both ways. You can not expect men to be chivalrous if you claim to be a proponent of equal rights for chivalry is anything but equal. Ask any man who opens doors for women how many times one has opened the door for him. His win/loss ratio will be drastically unequal. Now, I am not against Chivalry. To the contrary, I am quite for it. I was raised to treat a woman a certain way and I don’t regret this. I still open doors, pull out chairs, and take my hat off at the table, among other things.

My problem lies in all of the rhetoric surrounding this holiday and the pressure that men are under. It seems that women want their cake and want to eat it too. Currently us men are being pelted non stop with ads about how we can keep from screwing up by visiting this store or that or purchasing this item or that. The ads aren’t wrong. They are derived from reality. Any man who has ever failed to do the “right” thing on Valentine’s can tell you the punishment can be extreme, ranging from a night without sex to weeks without talking. To me, this is ludicrous, especially for failing to comply with some societal standard fraught with inequality from the get-go. I know of NO man that actually looks forward to this day simply because of the pressure he faces to perform to some standard that he doesn’t know exists let alone understand.

I am in NO way saying that women have caused this societal dilemma we find ourselves in. I am simply trying to explain the situation in a way to promote understanding in the hopes that doing so will help both sexes bring about a state where the day can go back to being the most romantic day on earth. I feel that women who expect and in some cases demand that men lavish them with gifts, dinners, etc. on this day are creating more bitterness in their men who already feel that they aren’t getting a fair trade but are too timid to voice this inequality. So, ladies, being thankful rather than expectant will go a long way towards getting the holiday results you yearn for. In fact, rewarding a man for a job well done is even better. Face it, men are competitive. Give a man a prize he can brag about to his buddies and he’ll go all out to achieve the goal it takes to attain that prize. Think about it, how many men have taken their ladies out to dinner for just the slightest hope of a chance that she won’t have a headache on that particular night? And, many women already know that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Most women already take their fathers to a steak house for Father’s day. Hmmmmm. It would seem that this argument logically leads itself to the sensible conclusion that Steak & BJ Day is not such a bad idea after all. Let’s think about this a sec. If your man knew that your performance on Steak & BJ day was directly related to HIS performance on V day, how improved do you think his actions might become? The sky is the limit here, ladies. If he knows a $5 box of chocolates is going to get him nothing more than chuck steak with a kiss on the forehead for Steak & BJ day, then you can bet your ass he’ll go back to the drawing board and come up with a better plan. Now, I know what you’re thinking. “My man is too stubborn for that”. Yes, this can be a problem, but I don’t think it’ll take more than one holiday to change him. I know if I got bologna and a cold shoulder for Steak and BJ Day, I’d NEVER forget Valentine’s Day again. I’d wager that if all you ladies band together in support of this quid pro quo holiday, that within 3 years, Valentine’s Day will be back to the most romantic day on the planet. It is within your power. You, personally, control the future of Valentine’s Day. Now, you can choose to cross your arms, furrow your brow, dig your feet in and refuse to participate. You can continue to expect and demand that your man comply with Valentine’s Day with no hope of any reward or reciprocation. You can also lose your man to his secretary who voluntarily participates in Steak & BJ Day without ever having received so much as a card on Valentine’s Day. The choice is yours. I hope you make the right one. I definitely support the right for women to choose (wisely).

JB

PS If you choose to promote this fair holiday, please give kudos and get all your myspace friends to come read this and give it kudos as well so that it will climb the blog charts and make it around the nation. (written when I was still active on myspace, not sure if there are rankings for wordpress blogs (which is the system I am using currently)).

 

3 thoughts on “Hurray for Steak and Blow Job day!!

  1. I like this concept and I’ve also tried this concept and it didnt get me anywhere. It only got me to where they want it all the time. Im ok with giving it to them since I do dedicate 1 entire week as blowjob week (and 1+ randomly all the other weeks) but I’d like something in return…ya know like flowers here and there or a back rub and what-not. I do wish Steak and Blowjob Day would help with the whole Valentines Day thing since Ive never gotten anything for Valentines Day other than “stop and pick me up some beer on your way home” or “whats for dinner?” I dunno if the guys Ive dated are not trained right or if they are just that dumb and dont get the concept when your getting something a little more than normal that they should be doing something nice for me too. Only in a perfect world Joe will this concept work cuz trust me a really nice steak dinner, a blowjob and most likely some awesome sex will get me a nice necklace or earrings Im game. 🙂

    • Sounds like you are a really great catch with shitty taste in men. Problem is, you have to withhold the treat if he doesn’t do the trick (kind of like training a dog). Doing that will eventually train him or make him leave, either of which should be an acceptable response. So, take some responsibility here and put some effort into training him. You may find, that like most of us, he is just clueless and needs a little nudge. Speaking of nudges, I’ve got to get back to earning my S&B day….catch ya later.

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